TO MY LOVE

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There was recently an ad for submitting a love story in 1500 to 5000 words for competition and I submitted the following one and the results are yet to come:

 To My Love

Love is the binding force in the Universe. The gravitational pull that holds billions and trillions of stars at their proper place is a form of love. So is the solar system performing its task without any deviation. Scientists say that there are innumerable such solar systems existing all around, which may be of advanced age or younger to us. However life is yet to be discovered in the outer space.

Love has many forms. One is divine love, which supersedes all types of love and God loves his creation more than their parents and a person who dips himself in the elixir of divine love merges in to the divinity. Examples of the same are not wanting in the history of humanity. The other form of love is the parental love, which is inborn and does not expect anything in return from the loved one. This inborn love binds all creation in to a uniform bond. Then there is mutual love between brothers and sisters and cousins, which too is there because of blood relation.

Another form of love between two persons generates at first sight, when something appeals the other being and it results in to an everlasting love.

I have been the only surviving child of my parents, that too after offering many prayers by my parents and their spiritual guides, pirs and faqirs. Thus I was a precious child brought up with lot of care and love by all around. My father took great care in getting me educated under his close supervision and my mother would teach me pronunciation when I would be in her very lap. Care was taken for avoiding my mingling with neighbouring children who used to play in a rough manner and also used rough language. The only playmate I could find was a cousin sister from my mother’s side. Most of the time she would be in our home as her house was not far off and she often came to see her maternal aunt i.e. my mother who loved her utmost. I had also suckled her mother when she too was suckling her and hence she had become my milk-sister, on which my mother would often repent as she liked her so much that she wished to make her, her daughter-in-law, (a boy and a girl suckling the same mother are not allowed to marry in Islam). However we continued to grow together like a brother and a sister and that brotherly love still persists with cherished memories of the childhood even when we have come of age now.

In my childhood days, I recall that once there was a marriage function of our relative and all the relatives had gathered together. Being a small boy of hardly 4-5 years I accompanied my mother and was enjoying their chorus (Kashmiri wanwun) sung during marriage functions. There was a girl of about my age, who was singing film song, sounding like ‘Baje chum chum payal mere’ or something like that. This song of hers with her melodious voice and her dancing style made a deep impression in my mind and I liked to be friends with her but felt shy. However days went on, I would often steal a glimpse of her, whenever there was a chance of social gathering, but I gave her no indication of my interest in her. Her features were becoming more attractive with every passing year. Many a time her parents would compel me to have tea in their house, but I was too shy even to share tea. Belonging to strict religious background, direct contact of boy and girl was not approved those days. Once I tried to send an anonymous letter to her to see the reaction, but with no obvious result. Later on I came to know that she had been questioned on that. Being a bit of advanced thoughts, her parent allowed her to shun the Muslim veil and this action of her was not liked by their neighbours and relatives alike.

There was another girl elder to my age, which I used to teach some subjects for a short time. She sent me a love letter, when I was away in my professional college. I did not respond the letter as I had no interest in her. My parents also had reason to refuse the proposal. Later she got married elsewhere.

One more proposal came from a relative living in a far off village. But it was turned down on the plea that it shall be difficult for a village girl to adjust with the city life.

During the study of my professional course, the go-betweens started pouring in to my house, but the proposals were turned down by my parents. My mother was however on hunt for a bride and would personally verify each and every proposal that would come from various sides.

In fact when I had come to my home after my first year of my degree engineering course, a neighbour-cum- relative called me to meet a person in his house, who interviewed me regarding my education etc. In the same evening he sent a marriage proposal with his daughter to be sermonised within a week’s time, which was turned down by my parents as they wanted me to complete my course and get a job first. However later on I came to know through other source that I had been engaged elsewhere in my absence, when I was studying thousands of miles away from my home. There was no alternative but to send a note of congratulations to my parents telegraphically, which surprised them and they had to write in detail the circumstances that made them to agree on the proposal. The great spiritual saint Sayid Meerak Shah (RA) of Shalimar had been instrumental in choosing my photograph out of the lot and my father had turned restless to agree to the proposal from the girl’s side.

Meanwhile the engagement of the girl, I had liked in my childhood got delayed; perhaps they wanted to know about the boy who had sent her the anonymous letter, which they never came to know. Even the girl could not guess as to who it must have been. The girl got married at a late stage with a person of much senior age. I still cherish her memories and blame the destiny for not joining us together. It is also true that marriages are arranged in heaven but celebrated on earth. In our case the destiny had played its part.

It is also true as goes the Arabic saying that

’The best marriage is the one that doesn’t take place’.

I still wish her well but won’t like to tell her all about it, which would embarrass her.

Perhaps when two lovers meet, the intensity of love gets reduced as compared to the separation and to keep the fire of love burning it is worthwhile to remain thirsty of each other and that too when it is a one-sided affair. It calls for a great sacrifice as an Arabic saying goes:

Separation from the living is harder than separation from the dead.”

There were some occasions when we met and I often found some sort of inner reaction generated in me but the usual shyness overcame me. There used to be definitely an opposite reaction in her too but she tried to suppress that feeling one way or the other. I could feel minds reacting when all other sources are put on hold. This is a story of suppressed love which did not find its vent due to prevailing circumstances and shyness and may be termed as a ‘Thirsty Love’

May I quote from “Tamhidat”

“The lover’s reckoning is with Love. His life is Love. Without Love he dies… From Love he experiences so much grief, pain and sorrow that he ceases to be tied down by Union nor afflicted by the torments of separation. For Union gives him no joy,nor separation any pain or suffering. He has surrendered up his will to Love.”

The Lebanese saying may befit here,

“The man who is shy of his wife will never have children.”

Besides the following couplet translates her reaction:

‘Raqiboon se rafiq achey hain jo jal kar nam lete hain,

Gulun se khar behtar hain jo daaman tham lete hain.’

i.e. ‘Rivals are better than friends, who call our name out of heartburn, Thorns are better than flowers as these catch us by our garments.’

There is another Arabic saying- a source of consolation:

“Do not marry your lover, and do not take back the man you have divorced.”

 William Shakespeare says,

 “Love sought is good, but giv’n unsought is better.”

I would like to present her the following words if ever she comes across this story:

You are like a Beautiful flower

That beautifies the garden.

You are like a sparkling diamond

So precious is your worth.

You are like a golden sunbeam

Chasing the clouds away.

You are like the early dawn

That spreads the hope around.

You bring some precious moments

To treasure, day by day.

Again I quote William Shakespeare:

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle’s compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But  bears it out even to the edge of doom.

I would also like to tell her that “YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME”:

You can get lost in the crowd,

Yet I can spot you,

Because you are important to me.

You can get lost in the surge of humanity,

But God never loses sight of you,

Because he loves you eternally.

Whatever you are,

There is no other you

And you are loved tremendously.

“I have redeemed you

And  called you by name.

You are mine.”

WITH LOVE.

 

 

About shahishaharyar

Chartered civil engineer,Fellow institution of engineers India, Member Indian road congress,Member American society of civil engineers, Presented over 70 papers in various seminars,published books over 36 on environment,history, sufi saints, genealogy,free lance writer, travelled in India and abroad.

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